Safety First!
by Asphodel Winter
Summary: Drabble about Squalo, Lussuria and road safety "We’ve killed ministers, mafia bosses, cats, trainloads of people, survived all sorts of batshit insane situations and I should know, I was savaged by a shark and you’re harping about road safety"T for Lang


This is really just a random drabble. I came across the two words "Safety First" and I just HAD to write this. XD I hope you like this!

**Edited ver: Ehem, this is an edited version. Lame explanation, but oh well. Edited by Usako Hoshino! :D Thanks!!**

* * *

To the Varia's rain guardian, there could be nothing more unfortunate in the world for him than to end up in a car with only Lussuria for company. There was a simple reason for that.

Although the motherly man was never seen without his sunglasses, nothing ever really escapes his professional observation skills honed by many, _many_ years of being an assassin and caring for a gang of unruly men.

Particularly when it came to his lovely family to which he was mother to. When in a conversation with him, everything from eating habits to sex to breaking speed limits could be discussed.

It was a horrible experience even Xanxus could be seen to be keen to avoid, and today, sadly, it was Squalo's turn for an earful.

"Squalo!"

The said assassin rolled his eyes towards haven. What did he do _this _time?

"I told you so many times! When the light is yellow, get ready to stop! You can't _speed up_!" Lussuria whined loudly.

"What?!" Squalo yelled, exasperated. He turned to his fellow Varia member sitting in the passenger seat. "No one gives a fuck about that! The last time I –"

"Eyes on the road, hun, you're going to run into a van."

A fearsome growl actually escaped Squalo's throat as his head snapped back to face the front, his hand violently twisting the steering wheel to avoid a delivery van. As the car swerved, the horrible screeching sound of tormented wheels scraping the road could be heard, and Lussuria could swear he heard grinding of metal against metal. He played with his Mohawk as he made a mental note to send the car for repainting the next day.

Silence fell in the vehicle.

Squalo rather thought (or desperately prayed) that the blissful silence could last until he could get out of the expensive Mercedes and escape Lussuria.

No such luck.

"But Squalo, dearie, it's _really _dangerous!" Lussuria burst out, squirming in his seat.

The silver haired man would have bashed his head against the steering wheel if he had not known it would earn him _another _lecture on how important "my sons' heads are", according to the person sitting right beside him. Squalo's ears had been tortured enough for him to recite that speech from back to front with no mistakes. So instead, he focused his remaining energy on humouring the flamboyant Varia Sun Guardian.

In his own Squalo™ way, of course.

"What, the yellow light thing? Fuck, we're an assassination squad! We've killed ministers, mafia bosses, cats, mermaids, trainloads of people, survived all sorts of batshit insane situations (and I should know, I was savaged by a shark) and you're harping about _road safety_! Why should _we_, the Varia, have to be scared of a mere yellow light?!"

Lussuria pouted, folding his arms across his chest.

"That's different. We were trained to be assassins! We aren't trained to avoid traffic accidents! (_I wonder what the driving tests we have to go through to get a license is for then,_Squalo thought drily) God knows how to drive with one hand anyway!" Lussuria sighed dramatically before continuing. "Just say you won't drive past a yellow light again…"

How Squalo yearned to rain a swimming pool of rebuttals onto his (a little too) caring colleague…

However, unless he wanted Lussuria to not stop nagging for the rest of the trip, he had better play a good boy.

"Fine."

Lussuria smiled like a proud mother.

"Good! Well done, honey! Safety first after all!"

And that successfully ended the conversation.

A few minutes later, Lussuria gasped.

"Squalo!" Lussuria soon found a reason to start another one.

"VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIII!!!!" Squalo shouted in frustration. "_What now?_"

"You're going way past the speed limit!" Lussuria tapped non-stop at the speedometer. "And that's a _big _no-no!"

Squalo let out a low angry growl as he turned the steering wheel violently to the side and pulled up at the side of the road. He stormed furiously out of the car, slamming the door behind him, and pulled Lussuria's open.

"Voi." Squalo's voice was trembling with suppressed anger. "I give up. _You_ drive."

* * *

Lussuria hummed a tune softly as he drove. "Look here, Squalo," he said patiently, the maddeningly mother-ish aura radiating from him again. "We need to drive carefully, be well aware of all the cars on the road, and you see," he squealed excitedly as the traffic light turned yellow in front of him. He _would _show Squalo how to drive a car properly, "slow down and stop when the lights turned yellow!"

He grinned at the scowling white-haired man beside him as the car slowed down, but-

"Voi! This isn't interesting enough, go-" Squalo screeched as he moved his long legs on top of Lussuria's and pressed forcefully down on the accelerator, "_faster!_"

* * *

"Hey, Yamamoto-kun."

"Yeah, Tsuna?"

"Isn't that Squalo's car?"

"Hey, you're right! It's flying across the street! Isn't that funny? Haha!"

* * *

Okay, I don't know why on EARTH, was Lussuria in a car with Squalo either. Grocery shopping? -shrug- X3

Aaaaaaanyways, I hope this was okay and not OOC. That's one thing I'm eternally afraid of. OOCness. T.T

Reviews are welcome! Flames are too! (at least it'll add to the review number :D)

**Edited ver!: Hey, angelxgirlx21, you wondered what would happen if Lussuria drove right? Well, thanks to Usako Hoshino, you now know. :D**


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